5 Things You Shouldn't Tell An Expecting Couple
My wife, Tonya, and I are expecting our first child (a girl) in September. It is funny how brazen people can be when they know you are expecting. You commonly hear of people shamelessly touching your wife's stomach; even strangers. We know of people who have all the advice in the world to tell you; even when you never ask for it.
There are a few things people say, though, which simply aren't helpful or encouraging. Generally, those statements come from already-parents, and you know full-well if you don't have something nice to say...
Here are a few things you simply should not tell an expecting couple:
1. "Get all your sleep now, while you can." You know, we get it! You are not helping. I find myself in conversation mindfully avoiding any reference to sleep or being tired just so someone in earshot doesn't say this to me.
2. "Your whole world is about to change." I had not thought for one second that having a baby was going to change everything. I never thought of that once during every "pregnancy scare", every time an in-law asked when we would ever have a baby, or every time I heard A Baby Changes Everything during the Christmas pageant.
3. "Are you sure you want THIS?" This one is generally said to you while their child is throwing a tantrum, or producing a horrific diaper, or melting down in some other fashion. We are 8 months pregnant, it's a little late to have this discussion.
4. "Enjoy every moment; they grow up so fast." First, no they do not! The calendar year is and has been the same for a very long time. Aside from Benjamin Button (which is fiction btw), everyone ages at the same rate. Second, it's not helpful to tell a pregnant woman whose feet are swollen, face is broken out, and can never sleep comfortably to 'enjoy every moment.' The baby is not even here yet! Plus, we had planned on hating every moment.
5. "Do what's right for you and your baby; don't listen to all that advice." Relativism aside, we had hoped to do what was right for our baby, but why do people feel the need to unload advice on you after they've said this. It is almost like saying, "With all due respect..."
Honorable Mention: "Once you see the baby, you will forget all the pain." "Be sure to read to it..and spank it."
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What other things should people just NOT tell an expecting couple?